Chapter 3

Since I got laid off yesterday, I decided to divide my life up into chapters. The first chapter includes my childhood, young adulthood; everything before moving to Florida. Chapter 2 is all about what I'm now calling My Valpak Years. That chapter is now closed. But it did include some pretty signifigant events - meeting my husband, getting married, having two kids and all of the small events like vacations, starting an Etsy shop, raising kids. Now, the third chapter. Blank pages. I have no idea how I'll fill them. I really don't. Right now nothing feels right or normal - like someone tipped the world and I'm just trying to stay vertical. I toggle between feeling kinda calm to feeling really panicky. I really fear for my future right now. I feel that I let my family down - and I didn't do anything wrong! I'm 49 years old and don't feel employable. I've been a Graphic Designer for 19 years. Not a great designer; just adequate. I want to make a go of my Etsy shop and start making some new stuff. Hopefully, it will pan out and I will only have to get a part-time job. The thought of applying for jobs and interviews makes me a little sick. I know this will pass. So today is Chapter 3, page 1...